Getting the Girl Without Lifting a Finger

Here’s the typical scenario when a guy sees an attractive girl in a social setting such as store. First his heart rate accelerates, he takes a second glance, hoping she’ll be looking at him but unfortunately, she’s busy shopping. After that, his mind goes blank as he desperately tries to find something to say… he wants to start a normal conversation without sounding as if he’s trying to pick her up. Unfortunately, he can’t come up with anything decent so he watches her walk away. This is the exact same scenario illustrated as in the Double Your Dating review here.

If you’re going to be successful with women, instead of watching her walk away, you’re going to need to say something. Now keep in mind that while you’re shopping, it’s very possible that the girl in question is actually busy and in a rush. This happens frequently and therefore, when you open, you should be relatively polite. I know this goes against a LOT of good seduction knowledge out there that claim you need to be bold and manly when you approach girls, but let’s face it, you’re interrupting someone while they are busy shopping, so use some tact and it will go a long way.

Conversation in Line

The absolute easiest opener while standing in line is to make a comment about whatever the person is carrying and about to purchase. Now if they are standing in line about to purchase it, then it’s LIKELY that they like that product so you can immediately build rapport by saying that you like it as well. It can be anything from a piece of cake that she’s about to purchase from a cafe to a plunger she’s about to buy at the local hardware store. Just say that it’s good, that it’s your favorite or that you like it. It’s a great way to start a conversation on a positive note. Be enthusiastic about it (why else would you comment on it?) but don’t go overboard. If she’s buying a box of cereals, you don’t need to pretend as if it’s a life changing experience.

The Follow Up Trick To Get Her Talking

As a general rule of thumb, you immediately want to let her know that you’re busy and provide an indication that you won’t be talking to her for a long time. The last thing that a girl wants is a creepy guy talking to her for long periods of time, or worse, following her home. If you immediately tell her: “I’m doing some last second shopping before I head back home” she’ll feel more at ease talking to you because she won’t feel as if you’re going to be hard to get rid of later on. By letting her know that you’re busy and you have something to do immediately afterward, she’ll feel more comfortable talking to you because she knows it won’t be for long. So remember, let her know early on that you’re busy and it will go a long way.

What to Talk About With the Girl

What you say is quite important and it all comes back to the first thing I mentioned: You have to find out what you like about her other than her appearance. What do you look for in a girl? What kind of qualities do you really want to find? What kind of activities would your ideal girl do? Once you know what you’re looking for in a girl, you’re much more likely to find it. For example, if you’re looking for girl that’s really honest and trustworthy, then while in line you could jokingly ask if she’s smuggling anything out of the store in her pockets. When she replies “No, I’d never do that!” then you can reply that you like a girl that’s honest. Allow me to explain why this works.

First, when you approach a girl with the desire to find out more about her life, it immediately puts you in the selector’s frame of mind. Instead of her deciding if she likes you or not, you’re the one that chooses. This is because the person that’s asking the questions is the person that’s selecting. Depending on her answers, you’ll either like her or not. This puts you in control of the situation, instead of the other way around.

Second, when you find something you like in a person, it’s only natural to want to keep contact with them and take the interaction a little further. That’s why, as soon as you find an aspect you like in a girl, you’ll want to let her know that you approve of it. In her mind, when you ask for her number, she’ll think: “Oh, he really likes the fact that I teach art part time, that’s why he’s asking me out” never mind that the real reason you initially approached her was because you thought she was beautiful.

If you’re truly serious about how to pick up a girl in day to day situations, then I have something to recommend to you that I think will help. The book Double Your Dating by David Deangelo covers in detail how to build attraction, approach girls without hesitating and explains how some guys can go from not being able to talk to girls to having a full calendar of dates the next month. As you’ll see in the review, I highly recommend it if you’re serious about dating.

So let’s start!

In seduction, you can either have a completely natural approach where you simply go up to a girl and say “hello”, or you can have a more mechanical approach where everything is broken down into tiny little steps. It’s likely that if you’re reading this you aren’t part of the more natural ones so let’s break a conversation down into tiny little parts.

The Opener

The first thing you say to a woman is called an opener. The opener’s purpose is to simply break the ice and get the conversation going. The key to a good opener is to engage the other person and if you can captivate their attention, then that’s even better. If your opener isn’t creating curiosity, then it’s likely that the girl you’re talking to will simply walk away or act very disinterested earlier on. If this is happening, then make sure to change your approach until you can at least get 30 seconds of conversation going each time you try to talk to a new girl.

As if it wasn’t subtly hinted enough in the previous paragraph, you should prepare your opener in advance. Ideally, it should be less than 10 seconds long, draw curiosity to you and be original! If you want mine, then that’s fine, it’s not very good but it works: “Hey there, how’s it going? I’m doing <enter activity here>, what are you up to?” (I told you it wasn’t very good! But usually I’m doing something interesting enough to be casual yet inciting)

Keep the Conversation Flowing

If after you say hello to a girl, you immediately have nothing to say, it’s likely that your efforts won’t go very far. All the courage that it took to go up to the girl… they will all be for nothing if you don’t have a follow up to your opener. What you say AFTER you’ve said hello is called a routine. These are stories, questions or even a game you play after you’ve first made contact.

Routines can range from asking specific questions, to telling stories about yourself or even doing a magic trick. However, if you’re using any type of prop to pick up women, then you better have a good explanation for it. Don’t just walk up to a girl, say hi and then read her palm. There needs to be something in between!

Instead, routines should be interesting and relevant stories that make people want to hear the rest. For example, if you start talking about how you just came back from the airport and the girl right beside you was stopped for trying to bring in a foreign animal onto the plane, you’ll be on your way to creating curiosity. Whatever you say, make sure it’s genuine and relevant to you.

Once again, make sure you prepare this beforehand so when the situation arises, you know exactly what to say. That way, if your mind draws a blank, you’ll have something to immediately say after introducing yourself. Some guys prefer to have many routines and then they stack them one after another. That provides them with hours of chatter without even having to think!

Qualifying the Girl

Now during your chat, if you simply tell stories, you’ll never get to know her! So this next step, where you ask her specific questions will get her talking as well. Your questions should be open ended questions about things that you care about. If you’re looking for a fun adventurous girl, ask her what the last adventurous thing she did was. Make her describe, in detail if possible, what kind of person she is and why she’s worth talking to. If you can reverse the roles like that, then you’ll be on your way to not only having an enjoyable conversation, but building attraction while you’re at it.

Recap

How to Start a Conversation and then keep it going in a few steps:

1. Create a personalized opener
2. Create two routines
3. Figure out what you want in a girl and think of two open ended questions

Once you’ve done all of this, you’ll have your own step by step guide to starting great conversations. Then all you need to do is go out and apply it.

So what makes a good opener?

Well for the reason above, simply saying “Hi” does work. Sure it’s not very original, but what really matters is what follows after. In fact, there was a group of pick up artists that went out to prove that openers really didn’t matter so they had a little event where they opened all night with the strangest, most ludicrous openers imaginable. You’d have a guy go up to a girl and say: “Hey I lost my friend” and then start talking from there. That was relatively normal, but others such as “Hi, I’m an alien from outer space and I’m here to abduct you” worked just as well.

In essence, anything you say can be a good opener as long as it captures attention.

Here are some of the best openers:

• Hey there (not very classy, I know)
• Hey I have a quick question before I get back to my friends… Who lies more? Men or women ? (overused)
• Did you see the two girls fighting outside? Yeah, they were fighting over a guy.
• Hi, I’m from (interesting place) and I’m just wondering if people are friendly here.

I’d love to hear from the community. If you have a good opener, then please add it in the comments.

When you first walk up to a woman, if you’re concerned with if  she likes you or not, then you’re almost always going to fail. Doing this will cause your body to tense up, your hands to be sweaty and your mind will likely draw a complete blank. All this is because you care about the outcome!

Instead, if you walk up to a girl without caring about what she thinks at the end, you’ll feel much more confident, you will find an abundance of things to say and consequently, your chances of success will skyrocket! Although it’s perfectly normal to be slightly nervous, you’ll learn that the most successful guys are actually usually pretty calm about the whole experience.

Guys forget that picking up girls should be a fun and enjoyable experience for both you and the girl in question. If at any point you start feeling awkward, then you’re doing it wrong.

The Quickest Way to Pick Up Girls

Once you managed to convince yourself to be detached from the outcome ,the simplest way to learn how to pick up girls is to go out and try different approaches!

It’s only by trying a wide variety of approaches that you’ll:

• Gain Confidence
• Discover What Works and what doesn’t with women
• Gain experience in picking up girls
• Actually meet girls

I know it might sound ridiculous at first, but the truth is that you really need to start approaching women on a frequent basis in order to successfully learn how to pick up girls.

If you’re committed to success, then here are some different approaches I want you to try:

1. Start with an opinion opener approach, go up to a girl and ask her for her opinion on something, proceed from there.
2. Next, go up to a woman and say “Hello, I saw you and I just wanted to say “Hi” “
3. Go up to a girl and talk to her about a certain situation you’re in, tell her you’re waiting for your friends to come arrive.
4. Accidentally bump into a girl (gently) as if you were going somewhere else and say hello, act clumsy.
5. Walk up to a girl and pretend you recognize her from somewhere else, when she objects, continue the conversation.
6. Find something extremely unique about a girl and then compliment her on it.
7. Find something funny about a girl and then go tease her about it. This is my favorite one.

Once you’ve tried all these pick up techniques, you’re likely to have a better understanding to how women react to different approaches. It might be a little rough at first, but eventually things will get smoother as you go along.

The Mindset for Picking up a Girl

This is one of the most overlooked and yet important aspects of pickup in general: When you approach girls, YOU must be the one choosing her. The first time you’re going to be chatting with a woman, she’ll already know that you’re trying to pick her up. There are probably many guys that have already tried (maybe even today) and many more will after you’re done. What’s going to make you different is that instead of trying to get her to like you, you’re going to see if you like her instead.

There’s a huge difference between the two.

On one hand, you’re supplicating to her, trying to impress her and putting her up on a pedestal. On the other hand, when you’re choosing her, you’re actually there to find out if you like her or not. That’s why it’s very important to know what you want in a girl before you go out and pick up women. When you know what you want in a girl, you’ll be actively seeking it and therefore women that are pretty but have no personality won’t impress you as much.

Instead, when you know exactly what you want in a woman, you can go into a situation and figure out if she’s a good match for you. When you walk in with that attitude, you never run out of things to say. So my suggestion is to make a list of your ideal girl. Figure out not only how she looks, but how she acts as well. Then once you have this ideal girl in your head, go out and find her.

That’s what pick up should really be about, finding your perfect girl.

Closing Notes About Picking Up Women

When you’re out with women, just have a good time. In the end, isn’t that what it’s all about? If there’s one thing that I’ve noticed, it’s that if you’re having the time of your life,  then they are likely to have a great time as well. Happiness is contagious! Notice that all the guys that are good with women are usually very charismatic, happy individuals. So go out and be that person, don’t think about how to pick up girls and women will love you for it.

Take a moment to think about it. When you’re approaching women, what’s the worst thing that a girl can possibly say to you if you ask her on a date? The worse she can say is “no” right? Well you’re wrong! The worse she can say is that she wouldn’t go out with you if were the last man on Earth, that you’re ugly and disgusting and you should never talk to her again.

Assuming she DID say that! Who cares, laugh about it. At least you tried and you’ll have absolutely no regrets. Instead, tell her that she’s way off and move on to another girl.

If you were to follow the law of averages, by asking 100 girls out, 99 might reject you, but at least one will accept.

That being said, if you’re a relatively normal guy then there are hundreds of girls that will say yes and accept your approaches. As a man, it’s your duty to talk to women, go out and seize the day. It might sound like standard approaching advice, but it’s the best advice I can give you so you don’t regret not approaching women later on in life.

A Story About Approaching Girls

Here’s a story of an approach I saw one night. I hadn’t really thought about it until I started writing this article, but it was really interesting to see. I was out with a bunch of guys and we had been drinking before we went out. We were teasing one of our friends to go talk to a hot woman, and then all of a sudden, he just got up and went up to a girl and said: “Hey, let’s get together tonight and make something special”.

I never thought that an approach like that had a chance of working, but to everyone’s surprise,  she smiled and seemed quite happy with his approach.  I know it takes a lot of guts to try such a move, but the results were quite surprising. Simply showing up with a very direct approach showed raw honesty, desire and confidence.

A little later on he came back to our table and reported back that she thought he had a little too much to drink to do anything. However, he did have her number and she asked for him to call her when he was sober. She thought his approach was “funny and goofy”. If I wasn’t there, then I wouldn’t have believed it.

Does this work all the time?

Well, in short… no.

We were bar hoping that night and he did try the exact same approach a few more times that night. He got some numbers and there are 2 girls that slapped him in the face, one of them did so REALLY hard. If anything, it was funny to watch, he came back laughing with a big red finger prints on the left cheek.

So near the end of our night, at around 2am, we were on our 3rd bar. Finally, he got a girl’s attention, went up to her and told her: “I really want you tonight”. That was all it took. You could tell she was intrigued. She asked: “Is this how you pick up women?” He looked at her and simply said: “Yes” and paused. Then she laughed….

They talked for a while, and that night they stumbled back to her apartment.

That’s a night I’ll never forget, because I saw the possibilities. I learned that there are no limits, only self imposed ones. Approaching women is really all in your head and there’s no real wrong way to do it. Even if you go in with the worse approach possible, if you’re genuine and honest about your intentions, then you’ll eventually succeed.

What To Get From This Approach

Whatever you take from this story, as long as you are approaching women, then you stand a chance. Like Wayne Gretzky one said, “You miss all the shots you don’t take”. So the right way to approach girls is to simply walk up to them and say something. Whatever you can work, as long as you say something.

If you want more scripted ways of opening and more information on how to approach girls, then make sure to look up openers and routines.

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What was it? Was it a pickup line?

I’m wondering if there’s a special humorous way of starting a conversation with a girl so she’ll smile every time?

Laughing Girl Answer:

A line that works every single time? That’s a million dollar question right there! I mean, the guy could have known her for years. There are many circumstances that could have led to her smile.

Personally, I don’t think pick-up lines should ever be used. Not under any circumstances (with the odd exception where you’re trying to prove that they don’t work)

I mean, in terms of pick up lines, you have the quirky ones, the romantic ones, the corny ones, the over-used ones… I mean the list is endless. I think the best way to be is to be unique, and different passing comment on something she never heard before, that makes her reflect and think “that was nice!”

Additional Comments On Making a Girl Smile

When approaching a girl, making her smile and laugh is great, but you don’t want to simply entertain. Instead be cool and slightly cocky but not to the point where you’re a jerk.

Women don’t sleep with people that only make them laugh, they sleep with men that make them laugh and are attractive. So don’t go in trying to entertain her, instead go in and grab her attention, then use humor, DHV and negs to build attraction to yourself. She’ll be smiling when she’s happy, and she’ll be happy if she’s attracted to you.

The article is copyrighted 2003-2009 by the original authors and was posted on a newsgroup. This article has been rewritten, optimized by howtoseduction.com

Original article taken from:

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.seduction.fast/browse_frm/thread/3dee166664f10152/4a5c02fd364204c9

I’m looking forward to transferring my online ability to the real world  (bars, clubs, parties, gatherings etc). I feel that I’m on the right track but there’s something missing before I can apply all of this in my day to day life.

So now I’m wondering, how can I overcome this difficult transition from online pick up to the real world?

Approaching girls answer:

First, begin by approaching women that don’t impress you. Start by talking to every single girl that doesn’t impress you or intimidate you. It can be ugly chicks, soccer moms, grandmas crossing the street, your sister, cousins, friends from childhood, girls who sell stuff (They are paid to be nice to you). Talk to these kind of girls until you feel like you can approach prettier girls, then prettier, then even prettier girls. There is no miracle trick for approaching beautiful women without fear, you have to work the fear out of your system through practice and hard work.

No tricks, Motivation:

You don’t need tricks.

Instead, you need motivation.

So here’s some: Every time you see an attractive girl in public, think to yourself: “If I don’t approach her, I will never have sleep with her.” Of course, that’s true.

Attractive women don’t tend to approach men, even if they think you’re the best looking guy on the planet (perhaps especially if they think that).  If you’re in a public place and there’s a hot girl there, there are two possibilities: Either she’s not attracted to your looks and therefore you are insignificant to her, or she is attracted to your looks and would be easily open to an approach.  Either way, she will not approach you.  The only way to really find out is to approach her and see what happens.  Once you do, the worst that can happen is a rejection and what does that mean?

Absolutely nothing.

Additional Tip On Approaching Women:

I’m pretty shy and find this hard – though not as hard as I used to.  I think the secret is approaching lots and being prepared to crash and burn.  After a while you’ll begin to realize what works and what doesn’t. Read some articles on openers before you start. Also if you are shy it’s usually best to get straight in and chat so someone (or anyone) rather than linger in a corner waiting for an opportunity.

This article is copyrighted 2005-2009 by the original author Bikepimp, ShivaSpace and Ashenthorn. Since then, it has been re-written and enhanced by howtoseduction.com.

Original article taken from:

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.seduction.fast/browse_frm/thread/ef8b27e18291d85b/d4bf3a0c0cb4116f

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