I’m SUPER excited to let you know that we are now (June 29th 2010 at 2:00pm EST)
LIVE with the Absolute Attraction 90 Day Program.

To start the program, go to:

http://www.absoluteattraction.net

Just a quick warning…. I don’t want to sound all hypey, but there are over 18000
people that downloaded the Sleeve Opener and 11000 that listened to the Gambler
interview.

And just look at the blog comments in the past 12 hours or so!

The bottom line is that we have a TON of people lined up for the Absolute
Attraction Program and there are only 200 spots in the program.

There are BIG incentives for people who jump onboard quickly… so it’s
in your best interest to check this out now.

So if you think this might be for you, then go take a look now. I wouldn’t want you
to miss out and regret it later.

Register today, here’s the link:

http://www.absoluteattraction.net

Sincerely,

– Chris Calo

ps. Absolute Attraction will change your life with women in 90 days, I promise.
ps.s. After this, I’m going to sleep! I haven’t slept more than 4 hours in the past week!

A lesson from women in flirting

If you’ve looked around in our stereotypical world, you’ll notice that women tend to be naturally good at this and often get the nickname of “Flirts”. As guys we can learn a bit from them. Now I don’t want you acting like a girl, nor dressing like a girl… but if you pay attention, you’ll notice that the women that are great at flirting do have a certain appearance that is flirty. This includes bright colors, mini-skirts, blouses, energetic clothes that say: “Look at me”.

Now I know what you’re thinking… “Ok, I should wear bright colors and dress a bit more like a girl” …. NO, you shouldn’t! Anyone wearing a mini-skirt without the proper equipment better be in an Gaelic parade.

What you want to have clothes that attract attention while still making you look like a man. How? Well, for starters, get nice clothes. If you shop at Wall-Mart for your clothes, you’re only making it harder for yourself. Instead, go for some designer clothes. Having subtle yet fancy designs on your clothes will attract attention and so will having clean brand new shoes. My friend at Kinowear will help you figure out how to look in order to attract women. Just don’t get carried away with the more feminine looks… he likes to go overboard.

(Taken from Kinowear.com LookBook7)

Alright, so assuming you have the attire, now what?

First Rule of Flirting: Teasing

Well let’s jump right into the first step of flirting: Teasing. All you need to do is talk to the girl, and tease her about something. Anything. However, make sure she knows you’re teasing her in a good playful way or she might simply be offended. Tease, show interest and then pull back. Let her tease you and vice-versa.

It’s really that simple. The idea is to not take women so seriously, and instead treat them as if they were your annoying best friend. You really love them but you can’t help but laugh a little when they do something silly. If you want more examples, then simply imagine children playing in a playground. They are professional teasers, usually running around and laughing. That’s what you want, but in a more adult fashion.

Second Rule: Read between the lines

The second key to flirting is to read between the line when speaking with a woman. You should be hinting interest and having her reciprocate without actually saying it. The bulk of flirting is tonality and body language and the best way to learn it is to simply observe guys that are really good at it. A few movie recommendations that immediately come to mind are Top Gun and James Bond movies, watch and observe how they’ll tease women with a slightly serious tone while exuding an attractive body language.

When you’re flirting, any interest that you demonstrate should be subtle! If at any point you cross the subtle line and enter the completely obvious area, you’ll lose the game. Instead, imagine you’re playing a game with her called: “I won’t tell you I’m interested in you until you tell me first” and try to get her to confess her interest first. If you adopt that mentality and practice, you’ll be teaching others how to flirt with girls in no time.

Good Looks

Even though this goes against every guide that promotes using personality for attraction, the easiest way to create attraction is to simply look good. Although personality is going to be the determining factor in the long run, if you’re just looking to create quick, raw attraction, then just look your best! It’s really that simple. Looking good for guys involves working out, taking care of your body, trimming your hair and of course, having a nice attire. If you can combine all of those, then all you have to do is show up, say “Hi” and you’re on your way to getting the girl to like you.

However, if you’re going to build even more attraction and sustain it, then you better have some personality and confidence to back it up. Your looks might initially work, but within a few minutes, if you’re as boring as a door knob then that attraction is going to dissipate pretty rapidly. So let’s concentrate on the second aspect that will get girls liking you.

Attraction is Demonstrating Higher Value

Humans are very much alike in the sense that we all want what’s most valuable. If you have the choice between a $5 can opener and a $15 one, then you’re likely to want the more expensive one even if you can’t afford it. (Side Note: I bought the $15 one and it’s amazing) The same thing happens with humans, when you seem more valuable, people will want you… even if that value isn’t based on reality.

You see, pretty much everyone has some value, it’s all about how you present your value to the world that will make the difference. The best way to demonstrate higher value is through stories in which you casually sneak in elements that make you look good. For example, you could be telling the story about the time you went to the beach (already a DHV activity) followed by how you helped push a beached whale back into the ocean (Although you might want to check if that’s humanly possible first).

Casual stories, hopefully better than the one I just made up, are the best ways of showing off your value without outright saying: “Hello, I save whales and I have famous friends” … which would make you look like someone who’s simply bragging.

Qualifying Also Builds Attraction

The next way to build attraction is to turn the tables around. You know how guys are usually chasing the girl? Well in this scenario, we flip the tables and we get the girl to chase the guy instead. When you go into “chasing” mode, you automatically create a strong desire for whatever you’re chasing and nothing will convince you otherwise. So how do you turn the tables? Well the first thing to do is to make a list of ideal qualities you would want in a girl. Figure out exactly how your ideal woman would behave, what personality traits would she have, what kind of occupation and so on. Then once you’re with a girl with whom you would like to create attraction with, simply try to figure out if she matches the imaginary portrait of your ideal woman.

For instance, if you wrote that your ideal woman must like strawberries and long runs in the rain, then simply ask her! Obviously, you’ll want to integrate it into a normal conversation like: “Hey, the other day I had a dream I was running in the rain, it was kind of weird but I liked that idea… what do you think about it? Would you ever run in the rain?” Then simply listen to her response and maybe say… “Oh, well if you don’t like running in the rain, what do you like to do?”. Make her answer questions about herself, allow her to try to convince you to like her and then let her “Win you over”.

When you’re asking her questions, you might actually realize you really don’t like her. It’s a possibility but isn’t that worth finding out early on? Qualifying not only increases attraction, but allows you get to know the girl better. It also builds comfort and finally, it allows you to figure out if you really like her! Guys frequently become much more comfortable at this stage because they realize that the girl in question is in fact, only human.

The key learning how to get a girl to like you is quite a long one, but it always starts by you knowing what you want. From there, you’ll know what you have to do and become to get it.

If we were to generalize and say that the idea behind attraction is that we’re attracted to people that are valuable, then DHV would be the term to represent increasing that value and DLV would be decreasing in value. The perception of value changes from person to person and therefore what is DLV for one person might not be for another. Here are some general examples of how guys accidentally DLV themselves on a regular basis.

Common Examples of DLV

• Self depreciating humor
• Not having any money
• Insulting (bring down) their friends
• Trying to impress people
• Perform too many favors
• Being “the nice guy”
• Not standing up for themselves
• Bragging about accomplishments
• Being ignorant
• Caring about what others think
• Poor social awareness

These are the most common examples of DLV that one might encounter on a regular basis. Although it’s not always obvious, these tend to lower your value in front of women. There are numerous more that range from being childish to simply being rude, all of which show that you don’t have any class. One of the most frequent DLV’s that I see is that guys put down their friends in front of women. People tend to surround themselves with people that are like them, and if you put your friends down then you’re only putting yourself down by association.

The Exception to DLV

The only exception to DLV being negative is if you say a DLV statement that shows that you really don’t care and you aren’t trying to impress anyone. For instance, if you’re with a girl and you say: “Oh I’m really bad at eating with chopsticks” then although this it’s a DLV, it shows that you aren’t trying to impress her. By actively not trying to impress her, you gain value in her eyes. It’s counter-intuitive in the way that it works, but sometimes by trying not to impress someone, you end up impressing them. It’s like the Simpsons said: “If you don’t care if you’re cool, then you’re cool. ”

As a general rule, displaying lower value is not a good thing. So if you catch yourself putting yourself down from time to time, know that you’re only reducing any possible attraction. Instead, I suggest you adopt a slightly more confident attitude and watch the results!

Direct DHV

The first way, most common and probably the least recommended one is to demonstrate higher value by telling people directly about yourself. Saying, “Oh hi, I’m friends with this celebrity” might increase your status if people think you’re being sincere, but usually they’ll just think you’re trying to impress them and might not believe you in the first place. The risk of direct DHV is that people might think you’re lying, in which case it would be DLV (Demonstration of lower value).

Instead, a good way to DHV while still being direct is to bring up accomplishments and facts about yourself in a contextual situation. For example, if people are talking about traveling, you could mention that you had a good time in New Zealand and that you recommend going to see the beaches with penguins. Contextual DHV works much better because it simply sounds as if you had something to share. In this example, people would be envious that you’re well travelled, cultured and have adventurous mind.

If the conversation is headed in a direction where you can’t possibly DHV naturally, then take charge and steer the conversation where you want it to go. Good story telling is one of the best ways of conveying massive DHV while still seeming natural. For instance, you could be telling the story about your adventure in Peru, and while you were there, you can mention that you absorded the language in a few weeks. Using specific stories, you can DHV as much as you want without coming off as a show off, or someone that’s trying to impress people.

Indirect DHV

However, the absolute best DHV is indirect demonstration of higher values. Indirect means that people around you accidentaly find out about something good that you’ve done. For instance, if you’re just talking on the phone and one of your friends mentions that he left his phone in your Bentley, then you automatically get massive DHV without even mentioning that you had great car. Now you don’t need to have an expensive car to accomplish this, simply get a friend to mention something good about you while others are around and then act modest. If a friend says you’re great, then it’s much more effective.

Finally, if a stranger says that you’re great because of a certain reason, then that’s the ultimate DHV. For instance, if you walk into a place and everyone says “Hi” to you, then you automatically have massive value in that environment. Anyone watching will notice that you’re important, so make sure you get to know the staff in places that you frequent. If they all greet you when you walk in, it will be much easier for you to pick up a girl that’s there that night.

DHV Spikes

Similar to many attraction techniques, DHV spikes must be used in moderation. If you just start listing accomplishments, or if you’re trying too hard then this will have a negative effect on you. People tend to resent people that are too cool, so use it in moderation. That being said, if you’re telling a story and you throw in a little DHV about yourself, that’s called a DHV spike. You’ll want to play around with these in your interactions in order to build attraction to yourself.

Demonstration of higher value is simply letting other people know that you’re a cool, valuable member of society. It can be accomplished directly, indirectly through stories, jewelry, clothes, through your environment and even simply by being surrounded by people that are valuable. There are hundreds of ways to build DHV, just remember to be humble and subtle about it.

Just mix three parts funny with one part cocky and you have a recipe for attraction.

The trick when using cocky and funny statements is that you have to get the balance just right. If you’re too funny, you’ll end up looking like a clown. However, if you’re too cocky, then you’re going come off as arrogant. Finding the right balance between the two is really the key to using this technique, and that’s what most guys will fail to mention. You’ll know you’re getting it right because she’ll be laughing and smiling at the same time. If she gently touches you on the arm as well, then that’s even better and you’re definitely on the right track.

When to Use Cocky and Funny in an Approach

If you plan on trying this out, then I recommend you think of the cocky and funny technique as a spice and only apply it very lightly. It’s very easy to overdo it by using it too frequently which results in the woman losing interest. Don’t over-do it! The best time to use a cocky and funny statement is within the first 5 minutes of meeting her. In the attraction phase, if used properly, it will be a great way of letting her know that you’re confident and funny at the same time.

In my experience, the most effective use of  these statements is when it’s least expected. If you can catch people off-guard with a hilarious and slightly cocky statement, they’ll be laughing and smiling at the same time.  However, as a general rule of thumb, don’t use more than 2 cocky/funny statements per interaction. If you’re doing it more than that, then you’re likely just going to come off as arrogant.

Additional Comments About Building Attraction

Remember that cocky and funny is just a technique, but it’s not who you are. You should be playful, fun to be with and confident. I went to a dinner party not too long ago and met a girl this girl that was wearing a hat and I would periodically take her hat and have her try and get it back from me … I played games like making her kiss me on the cheek in order to get it back, chase me around, etc …

Be PLAYFUL with women. Toy with them in a fun way (it’s all about being light and gentle). If you think about it being playful with a woman is a great way to find out if she’s interested. If she plays along with you then she has given you a positive indicators of interest. If she doesn’t then you need to change your approach.

If you’re going to be using David DeAngelo’s cocky and funny, use it as a spice and don’t overdo it. Even though it’s a great technique, it’s still only one piece of the puzzle. It’s when you put all the pieces of the puzzle together that you start getting phenomenal results with women.

Body Language Creates Attraction

Studies show that nearly 88% of human communication is non-verbal and is done through body language. This is why it is essential that you have great body language if you’re going to succeed in attracting women. What’s the best way to get great body language quickly? Well… the absolute quickest way would be to fake it. If you’re reading this on your BlackBerry or IPhone while in a bar, then sit up straight but don’t be stiff. Then you want to have a slightly leaned back appearance, as if a strong wind was pushing you back. Finally, your head should be up! The biggest mistake guys make in terms of body posture is to have their head down. Look up! Now the first time you take on this position, it’s likely that you’ll be pretty tense. The trick to having great body language is to be like this and relaxed at the same time.

Unfortunately, the chances of success if you’re faking body language are slim to none. About 5 minutes later, you’re likely going to forget to stand straight and slouch back to your old posture. After all, you’ve been the other way for years so it’s not in a few minutes that you’ll forever alter your posture.

If you’re truly serious about having a good posture (and you should because good posture is very attractive to women), then what you need to do is work on it on a consistent basis. For starters, you’ll need to begin exercising. Why? Because when you exercise, your body naturally takes a very attractive posture. After you’ve been lifting weights for an hour, you won’t be slouching nor will your head be down. Proper exercising produces naturally good posture. You can use this to your advantage and exercise before going out!

High Social Status

The second most important thing that attracts women to men is social status. Everything that you do, say or omit saying speaks about who you are, where you come from and where you’re going. How valuable you are to your friends, family, work and society in general will determine the level of attraction she feels for you. If you’re important in this world, then she’ll be attracted to you. If you’re insignificant, then … well, you better become significant. This is why the rock star is always so attractive to women, he has hundreds (if not thousands) of girls competing to get him while he’s on stage. Guys want to be him and girls want to be with him. All this social proof makes him very attractive… even if he doesn’t dress nicely and even if he’s a douche.

You don’t have to be a rock star in order to have massive social proof. When you speak to a girl, make sure to mention in a very subtle way that your friends think you’re great, that you’re very valuable at work and that people want to be around you on a consistent basis. It doesn’t have to be much, but if you have one person looking up to you, then that’s enough.

The problem that most people encounter when trying to demonstrate social proof is that they come off as show offs. Don’t try to impress people by telling them your accomplishments or how other people like you. When you try to impress people, you automatically lower your own value. It’s counter-intuitive so I’ll explain with an example. If a guy walks into a bar and says: “Hey, look at my car, I have a brand new BMW parked outside”, people will automatically think he’s compensating for something and he really doesn’t have anything going for him. Contrastingly, if that same guy walks in to a club, and as he’s pulling out his wallet, people notice that he has BMW keys, they’ll automatically assign him much higher value.

In both cases, the social value is the same, it’s just how it’s displayed that is different. If you can let others discover your value, then they will appreciate it a lot more than if you simply go up to them and tell them.

Finding What is Attractive About You

What if you don’t have value to start with? Well, let me tell you, everyone has some value. You just need to find it. Maybe your friends think you’re amazing, or maybe your family does. Maybe you’re good at work or maybe even you have a huge following on YouTube. Whatever it is, you should figure out a way to subtly bring it out when people are getting to know you. You might look like a douche, but if 3 million people watch you online every week, you automatically gain social status in my books (SxEPhil, I’m looking at you).

A Magnetic Personality

The last major component to attracting women is your personality. If you’re vibrant with energy, you can make them laugh and have an honest perspective on life, then you’re going to be very attractive to them. It’s a rare combination these days. Most people are bored with life, so if you can stand out and be excited about living, you’ll be someone they want to be around. People are drawn to excitement so much that they’ll do ridiculous things just to be around you.

The same can be said about being funny. If you’re naturally funny you’re immediately one step closer to being good with women. Women love to laugh and whoever can make them laugh will be one step closer to being the ideal mate in their minds. If you’re not a naturally funny guy (and that’s ok), then you can learn how to be. There are great books on comedy and our media is literally flooded with comedy. Watch, absorb and then use it.

If you don’t have any social status, and you have bad posture and you just plain don’t know what to say to women… then you need to start working on the basics. Gain social status by making friends, get good posture by going to the gym and go read up some tips on how to approach women. If you do all these things on a consistent basis, you’ll naturally become attractive to women. Don’t think about how to attract women, instead concentrate on being valuable, healthy, knowledgeable and energetic. The rest will come by itself.