I strongly recommend reading the book How To Start A Conversation With a Girl
I know it can really be a daunting task to start a conversation with a girl, especially when you don’t know her. However, there are some guidelines that if you follow, you’ll know exactly how to start a conversation with a girl even if you’ve never done it before. Once you have the conversation going, you’ll have to keep it up as she’s likely not going to have much to say until she warms up to you. If anything, you should expect to do most of the talking within the first few minutes of the conversation until it progresses to a point where you’re both talking equally.
So let’s start!
In seduction, you can either have a completely natural approach where you simply go up to a girl and say “hello”, or you can have a more mechanical approach where everything is broken down into tiny little steps. It’s likely that if you’re reading this you aren’t part of the more natural ones so let’s break a conversation down into tiny little parts.
The Opener
The first thing you say to a woman is called an opener. The opener’s purpose is to simply break the ice and get the conversation going. The key to a good opener is to engage the other person and if you can captivate their attention, then that’s even better. If your opener isn’t creating curiosity, then it’s likely that the girl you’re talking to will simply walk away or act very disinterested earlier on. If this is happening, then make sure to change your approach until you can at least get 30 seconds of conversation going each time you try to talk to a new girl.
As if it wasn’t subtly hinted enough in the previous paragraph, you should prepare your opener in advance. Ideally, it should be less than 10 seconds long, draw curiosity to you and be original! If you want mine, then that’s fine, it’s not very good but it works: “Hey there, how’s it going? I’m doing <enter activity here>, what are you up to?” (I told you it wasn’t very good! But usually I’m doing something interesting enough to be casual yet inciting)
Keep the Conversation Flowing
If after you say hello to a girl, you immediately have nothing to say, it’s likely that your efforts won’t go very far. All the courage that it took to go up to the girl… they will all be for nothing if you don’t have a follow up to your opener. What you say AFTER you’ve said hello is called a routine. These are stories, questions or even a game you play after you’ve first made contact.
Routines can range from asking specific questions, to telling stories about yourself or even doing a magic trick. However, if you’re using any type of prop to pick up women, then you better have a good explanation for it. Don’t just walk up to a girl, say hi and then read her palm. There needs to be something in between!
Instead, routines should be interesting and relevant stories that make people want to hear the rest. For example, if you start talking about how you just came back from the airport and the girl right beside you was stopped for trying to bring in a foreign animal onto the plane, you’ll be on your way to creating curiosity. Whatever you say, make sure it’s genuine and relevant to you.
Once again, make sure you prepare this beforehand so when the situation arises, you know exactly what to say. That way, if your mind draws a blank, you’ll have something to immediately say after introducing yourself. Some guys prefer to have many routines and then they stack them one after another. That provides them with hours of chatter without even having to think!
Qualifying the Girl
Now during your chat, if you simply tell stories, you’ll never get to know her! So this next step, where you ask her specific questions will get her talking as well. Your questions should be open ended questions about things that you care about. If you’re looking for a fun adventurous girl, ask her what the last adventurous thing she did was. Make her describe, in detail if possible, what kind of person she is and why she’s worth talking to. If you can reverse the roles like that, then you’ll be on your way to not only having an enjoyable conversation, but building attraction while you’re at it.
Recap
How to Start a Conversation and then keep it going in a few steps:
- Create a personalized opener
- Create two routines
- Figure out what you want in a girl and think of two open ended questions
Once you’ve done all of this, you’ll have your own step by step guide to starting great conversations. Then all you need to do is go out and apply it.
11 Responses
How to isolate her, If she is with her friends…???
if you want to isolate her and shes with her friends, say to her friends, “can i borrow your friend for a minute” then hold her hand a take her away.
good openers would be like something random i think like hi i like pickle juice
or
a question such as i havent seen a movie in a while, can you recomend some to me? she says:blabla bla. you say oh i prefer this kind of movie ( a popular one were u both can relate to) then just about to leave and say oh btw im (…..) shake her hand then after say “pff u call that a handskake” just to show ur not like everyone else trying to pull. then either introduce her to your friends or tell her to introduce you to hers (greet the men straight away) or if you are on your own say, “would you like to hang out with me till my friends arrive?”
Can you give some examples of openers and routines? I can’t seem to think of any and like i don’t want it to be like a random question cause its kinda awkward.
When looking for openers. Never ask straight forward questions. You’ll definitely get a No. Open up with a personal complement at the tag or general casual question.
I really need advice with this. I hardly talk to people
i dont have the problem of going up or starting in person or even on the phone but when it comes to texting it throws me off because im use too puting crazy movements or a crazy voice but how can i text with that kind of crazy lol I hate texting but the girl loves it. to be honest it a drag but she worth it. we have so much in common but get confussing in texting LOL
haha, “I don’t really talk to people”, its all good, i’ll try to teach you something. when I am by myself, i try not to talk to people either. its awkward and you have no one there to make sure what you say is right. cause i know when i’am by myself i usually start talking about guy shit and get off topic, like I am now. and my thought process is shutting down, anyways… try to get a buddy or two with you when chatting with the lady’s. it boosts your self confidence and makes you feel safer. see, this is my strategy. i walk to a girl I am gonna talk to with a buddy. i start talkin to her and i let my friend talk to her, just not as much as me. =D since my friend will not try to seduce her (its a guy code, if a buddy tries to seduce your target, he is a horrible friend) i give him things to talk about. and I am totally going off topic.. again! anyways, say things like hey, your hair looks great today! you cant believe how many smiles i get with that. repeat what people say to her, “Your” talking to her, no one else, as an example: your talking to her and her friend walks up and says “Hey Chelsie, you wanna come bowling tonight”? you repeat what her friend said EXACTLY like it was your own words, then give her a real big grin. that’s my favorite thing to do. anyways i cant really type how to get lady’s. if you were at a party with me it would be easy peasy. just start slow and work your way up. i hope i helped someone, though i doubt i did. haha, my mind flip flops so much in this reply
Reading all the stuff above on openers – qualifying, they all make a lot of sense, but the key/background question that should be asked is how can u make a girl begin to like u (even a bit) after ur conversation? The simple answer is humor! whatever opener/routine/conversation u have tot about there must be something to make the girl laugh (even if it a short laugh), then u can leave her with the impression that u are not a boring guy. Even if she doesn’t see you as the funniest guy in the world, she sees u as someone who wont bore her the next time she talks to u, with this u have scored a major point. Also, when speaking, your facial expression matters a lot, make sure you smile a bit, this will make her relaxed. If you keep a serious face when cracking your joke she might not find it funny, the fact that you are smiling has already shown that you are trying to say something funny, and once she recognizes that she will respond as long as she is not a snub and as long as there is nothing bothering her mind that moment.
Before you approach a girl, take sometime to study her and her mood, this can help your opener. For example, if you want to talk to a girl in your class, study her for 5 minutes (of course not during lectures, but during break), if you notice that she is moody thru out that period, then your opener could be” Hi, I have been watching you for the past 5 minutes, you dont look very happy, do u mind sharing whats wrong?” For the girl to feel relaxed to talk to you 1) you must give a shallow smile 2) talk slowly 3)let it read all over your face that you care. You may also add this line which should make her smile/light her up “Actually, I have this gift of solving peoples problems, am sure I’ll be able to help with yours”. With that, she knows you are joking and will most likely respond. Once the conversations kicks off then anything you do in ur routine should be geared to make her feel better.
Prepare ahead and bring out the humor in you, this should help u succeed.
allwas when i start a conversation i started with a peom, like you are beautifull of something great and than i approach a opener
hey i really neeed help i can u give me examples of how you make routines and how do do them
What’s the best approach opener you have used? Lately I’ve been using “Are you from around here?” but always looking to get new ones. I know a lot of people using opinion openers but do you have a favorite that works more than others?